Are You Proud of Me?

Oh how this phrase irks me. Because of course as a parent I say yes. This is important right? Expected even. But is it true?

When growing up I sought "proud" like I was panning for golden nuggets. To the point that it probably influenced my choices in life. To the point I aimed for goals that would please other people than what I actually wanted. But what I wanted, was to please other people. No, I do not blame my parents, teachers, or my siblings. If anyone is to blame it's the culture we live in.

And I know it all sounds a bit melodramatic, (and maybe I am) but that "proud phrase" bothers me. I believe it also comes down to the fact that I care deeply about a person as a whole. (Please don't take this the wrong way.) Not their accomplishments standing alone.

I am the kind of person who will cry with you and laugh with you. And yes I am pleased. But I want you to have joy of your accomplishments and for you to be proud of yourself. So yes, I am proud but I'm proud that you are progressing in living a fulfilling life; whatever that may look like for you. Not what you think will make me proud. For your life is not my life it is your own.